Moses said that. The one and only legendary Moses of ancient times. Descendant of even more legendary, angel-wrestling Jacob. Son of Isaac, who was of course the son of Abraham. But here Moses having just witnessed an amazing thing, and presumably having just heard an intimidating thunderous voice; resists obeying God. Why after witnessing all that, did he for the third or fourth time proceed to tell the Lord, God Almighty, that he was not the guy for the job? I mean, don’t we give lesser authoritative figures more respect by simply doing as they say, because they said so? Would a soldier tell his commanding officer ‘No.’? Not likely.
Moses even protested yet once more after that and angered God. Still in God’s ever so patient way He had mercy on Moses and suggested that his brother Aaron be the mouth piece he thought he needed. Now there are a lot of things I don’t like doing. Public Speaking chief among them, (Sorry Becky) but I’d do it if asked. Just like I do a hundred other things I don’t like to do because they need done. I wonder though, would I be so compliant if the Holy Spirit did not reside in me? A gift from God himself, made possible by the blood of his precious Son.
I ask why did Moses do that, forgetting that Moses was not afforded the luxury I know I have. Without the faith that has grown from the hearing of God’s Word and the Holy Spirit’s washing and Christ’s Blood paying for my imperfection; I would not be the person I am today.
Even now, with all that knowledge of head and heart, I am worse than Moses. Not only am I telling God that I’m not eloquent; I’m hiding in a corner and staying silent. I have no right. I should be shouting from the roof top whether I want to or not. It’s the least I could do. Woe to me, and to my sinfully quiet soul. Undeserving of a pursuant Spirit. Here in lies the beauty of it all . . . even with my whinny, lippy attitude God still loves me, and encourages me, and affords me His patience and time. He whispers ever so gently when He could thunder ever so piercingly.
Therefore, in the moments when I recall His amazing grace, I try to at least show a tiny glimpse of my Savior with a smile, with a kind word, a patient sigh, and an obedient act. When I forget that I’ve been given much, it serves as a reminder to be merciful to others who have also forgotten how much they’ve got. And it’s enough because God said “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness,” my weakness. Am I a good witness? Probably a better one in the literal sense. I see plenty. Verbally, let’s just say thank the good Lord for a more eloquent written form of words. In the evangelistic sense . . . yikes.
The miracle is that God can use even me.