No pain, no gain.

I’m gonna be totally honest. I don’t know what this month’s theme is. Sorry, I’m doing good these days to know what day it is. (Which literally happened, in the middle of class, announced out loud . . .) Things have been a little hectic, but bearable, and I of course know how immensely blessed I am. I don’t want to appear as though I’m whining. I’m well aware that I’m not the only ‘older-mother-of-three-going-back-to-school-and-working-part-time-person’ out there. And others have it much harder I’m sure. I’m leaving something out though. And I believe what I’m leaving out  might encourage someone else.

I have struggled for a long time with back pains and problems. Please no sympathy. It’s given me perspective and gratitude. At 29-30 years old (I can’t remember exactly.) I suffered a massive rupture. God provided for me that day with an attentive husband, he noticed I was hurting more than usual and stayed home to help. I slipped off the bed I was trying to get out of to make it to the couch (with my husbands help) and it was enough to leave me paralyzed from the waist down. I couldn’t feel either of my legs and (long story short) had surgery which gave me a lot of relief,  but permanent nerve damage and a modicum of weakness remained.

Five and a half years later I’ve had a new symptom, swelling. And I can do less physically than before. A whole day of work over the summer doing the wrong things and it takes me a day to recover, with the help of some strong pain meds. I’ve tried physical therapy, Ice/Heat, pain pills, exercises,  nerve medicine, (I hated that) and currently I have a compression sock and back brace. The sock helps with swelling and the pain a bit. Not to mention I sit with pillows and pick things up with my feet or a grabber. I’m rambling I know, but I’m going somewhere I promise. Well now I’ve had another MRI. Nothing ‘new’ per say. But put my MRI’s side by side and I look like a burn victim on the inside. I am technically healed. Except the scar tissue is part of the problem. And the part of my back that malfunctioned is now riddled with arthritis. I have been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease. No surprise to me.

Like I said, no pity. I have hope. Mainly in God and the after life, but earthly hope as well. There is a device called a spinal cord simulator. SCS is two wires (leads) they insert into your spinal canal that is attached to a battery pack. There’s a remote with various settings that you control. The whole thing is designed to send electrical currents through you blocking your body’s abnormal pain signals therefore providing relief.

I’m waiting on approval for a trial period to test this out. And I know I have lots of people praying for me. So I hang on to hope and faith, and get up every morning and put one foot in front of the other. God is good.


4 thoughts on “No pain, no gain.

  1. Sarah, Your post reminds me of one Beth Ann did on “hurting times.” We all go through those times whether the hurting is physical, mental or emotional. I try to ask myself the question, “what does God want me to learn from this?” Maybe patience, perseverance, maybe an opportunity to empathize with or encourage others (as you said). Our church, the Lutheran ladies and many of our AFLC prayer sisters are praying for you as you await your trial.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sarah,
      You are not alone-AFLC prayer partner sisters and St. John’s Sunday school class have been keeping you in our prayers. The current information will be shared with them. Physically you are suffering but spiritually you are well/beautiful.
      Upon hearing of your illness-no idea why-was prompted to look up the Christian meaning of your name. Sarah/Princess It defines you. Princess-Daughter of a king
      Prayer sister,

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you all so much. 🙂 I’ve lived with some form of this since I was 19. So it’s not completely new to me. Although parts of it are. I’ve not always had an issue with swelling for example. Still, it refreshes my spirit to hear ya’ll care enough to take time to pray, and that you’re thoughtful enough to write a comment. I know I have God on my side always even when I don’t deserve it. Still it’s nice to know just how many sisters in Christ I also have on my side. 🙂 Please don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t. I have a wonderful example of someone else with a disease who almost never complains and gets up everyday to go to work without making excuses. He’s my husband, and he has type 1 diabetes. (He has quite the story himself, but I’ll not share it without his blessing.) So I can hardly stop and pout about things that shouldn’t define my person, or atittude. I share my story because encouragement is key. Thus, I have an even greater appreciation for ya’lls words than I could possibly express. (But I tried. 😉 )


  3. Pingback: God On Mute by Pete Greig–Book Review | Lutheran Ladies Connection

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