We all think of Blessings as being the good in our life. Nice house, newer car, nice clothes, good job and on and on. We really need to look back at the “bad” things that have happened in our life and see whether those experiences were blessings.
I’ve written about some of my experiences here. Sixteen years of caregiving for my husband taught me patience. I learned to wait on the Lord. I also learned to trust the Lord, that he had everything under control. My faith grew. Yes, I had times when I would say, “When, Lord, when?”. Just wondering when my life would change. Sometimes I felt stuck. I couldn’t just walk away from my husband, but there were many things that I wanted to do and couldn’t because I had to take care of him. I learned to not let the bitterness overcome me, to give it to the Lord.
So, you would hardly think that having a husband diagnosed with a brain tumor and then having to take care of him, watching him slowly (very slowly) deteriorate and then eventually die would be a blessing. Romans 8:28 says it all:
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
I’ve put this song up on the blog before. Laura Story’s husband also had a brain tumor. He is still doing well from what I have been able to hear. She wrote this song after he was diagnosed.
Lutheran Ladies Connection 
Dear Beth Ann,
Thank you for this post, especially for the song link; it blessed my heart. Ray had been ill for 8+ years when he died 7 weeks ago. I felt I was dying with him. I was indeed angry at God many times. I did not understand how God could let Ray go on in his deteriorating condition, esp. as I seemed to be deteriorating with him. I felt God had abandoned me. I prayed, “Lord, please take Ray to heaven; I can’t go on!” I didn’t want to lose Ray, but he wasn’t Ray anymore, and my heart was broken continually as I watched him deteriorate. I had no peace, and at times I despaired of life entirely.
Finally, I went for Christian counseling. After 4 months of Melissa’s help in coming to terms with my situation, I prayed, “Lord, I’m not going to ask you to take Ray anymore; I accept your will in this, even if is years more, I’m willing to bear it, with your help.”
Within a few weeks of that prayer, and with no discernible warning, Ray took a sharp decline, and within 28 hours, the Lord took him peacefully to heaven. I’ve asked God’s forgiveness for my anger and even, at times, railing against Him. I believe I needed to accept God’s will and His timing concerning Ray, and that is what my Lord was waiting for — my acceptance of His will, my dependence on Him and my willingness to trust.
We are dust; we have feet of clay; God knows this. “They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength.” Isaiah 40:31. I wasn’t waiting on the Lord; I was trying to manage without Him.
I’ve recently started a list, which I continue to add to, of my blessings; things I am thankful for. It was an honor, and I WAS blessed, in the opportunity to love and care for Ray, even after he no longer understood that I was his wife, even after he no longer remembered our life together. I will miss him as long as I live, but I shall see him again when I too am called to the Father’s House.
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Thank you for your comment, Susan. Many people have no idea of the strain that caregiving puts on a person. The emotions; anger, sadness, bitterness and around and through all this is the love we have for the person we’re caring for. I have found peace in all the things that I did for Joe and peace for the things I should have done. I hope one day we can get together and share our experiences and perhaps grow together toward Christ.
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Ladies, I had only a small taste of caregiving when my mother was ill with dementia before she died recently. Someone at church talked in Sunday School about caring for her mother and how she often felt resentful, until she came to the realization that God was teaching her about being a servant. That helped me immensely when my time came to do this. It isn’t easy caring for and spending time with someone who cannot even hold a conversation. However, it is indeed a blessing to be able to serve God and another person in this way.
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