The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists of listening to them. Just as love of God begins with listening to his word, so the beginning of love for our brothers and sisters is learning to listen to them. —Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
In this little book, Henri Nouwen, who was a Catholic priest, educator and writer takes on the task of trying to explain spiritual life to his secular, Jewish friend. For Henri, that life begins with understanding that we are created, loved and chosen by God. We must experience His love and feel gratitude for how He has blessed us; then we pass that love and blessing along by serving others. Society constantly encourages us to compete, to excel and to compare ourselves to a worldly version of “success.” Often this means we see ourselves as failures, or we force ourselves into a mold that looks good to our culture, but doesn’t fulfill our deepest, God-given desires and abilities. According to Nouwen:
“Spiritually you do not belong to the world. And this is precisely why you are sent into the world. Your family and your friends, your colleagues and your competitors, and all the people you meet on your journey through life are all searching for more than survival. Your presence among them as the one who is sent will allow them to catch a glimpse of the real life.”
In the epilogue we learn that according to Henri’s friend, the book is a failure. He tells him, “you do not realize how far we are from where you are.” However a number of Christian friends assure him to “trust what is there (in the book) will bear fruit.” It becomes the basis for a course on “The Life of the Beloved” at the Servant Leadership School of the Church of the Savior in Washington D.C. Nouwen muses about how ironic it is that he tried so hard to write something for secular folks and the ones helped by it were searching Christians. The point, I think is this:
“But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with him in the heavenly places that in the coming age he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of your own doing, it is the gift of God — not because of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:5-10
He made us, He loved us, He chose us, and He will use us in ways we would never expect.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to life him up. Again, if two lie together, they are warm; but how can one be warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
In an earlier blog, I wrote about how God did not create us to be alone. When I think back over my life, I see how it has been enriched by the love of others.
What would my life be like without my siblings, with whom I remember my childhood, and who helped to care for my mom in her old age? Or without my mother who read to me, my grandmother who cooked the best dinners ever, my grandfather who taught me I was smart enough to become whatever I wanted to be?
What would my life be like if I had not had my husband to help with all the child rearing chores, to support me and cheer me on when I wanted to go to school, try a new job, or learn a new skill? Who stuck with me through all the good and bad times of life?
What would my life be life without the many friends, who over the years, saw talents and abilities in me that I didn’t even realize I had? Who encouraged me to be a leader, to grow spiritually, and (most recently) to start this blog?
Where would I be without God in my life? To comfort, to guide, to provide, to accept me with all my quirks? To be a father whenever my earthly parents failed me?
Storge, eros, philia, agape, we need all those loves. Life is definitely better when we live it with others.
“…Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, ‘Lord save me!’ Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him …” Matthew 29-31
I’ve never walked on water, but I’ve certainly had the experience of trusting God, and then almost in the same moment doubting and becoming anxious … only God’s love can lift us up and keep us from sinking during those times of fear.
The original version of this beautiful “love” hymn was written in 1912. It was the joint effort of James Rowe who penned the words, while his friend, Howard E. Smith, composed the music. Row worked for many years composing hymns and editing music journals for various publishers. Sing these words when you are in need of God’s sustaining love.
If you’ve never read a book by Lauren Winner, run out and get one now! She is not only articulate, her topics are well researched, and she is honest and open about her own struggles with leading a faithful Christian life. Her first book, a memoir entitled Girl Meets God is the story of how she, a young Jewish woman, converted to Christianity.
Anyway, real sex, seemed an obvious choice for this month’s topic and exploring the theme of eros love. Subtitled “the naked truth about chastity” the book begins with Winner’s attempt to work through the difficulty she, and other people, even Christians, have in maintaining chastity. Somewhere along the line she realizes that you cannot discuss chastity without discussing marriage — chastity isn’t a virtue or discipline to practice for the sake of avoiding something bad or harmful — it’s to be practiced in order to understand what marriage and becoming one flesh is meant to be and to represent in the Christian community.
Here’s a quote from the book:
“When I see them (a married couple she knows who have their share of differences) I not only feel optimistic about the possibility of staying married, I also feel optimistic about the possibility of staying a faithful Christian, of not drifting from church when I grow bored or indifferent or angry. I remember that the Bible tells me over and over that marriage is like the relationship between God and His beloved. I am cheered.”
According to Winner, marriage is not just for the couple, it is for the community. They are a sign that:
“He (God) loves us, and is faithful to us, when we cheat on Him. He loves us and is faithful to us, when we insist our love has died on the vine. Marriages are made in part, to remind us of God’s relentless fidelity”
I have to admit, I hadn’t thought of my marriage that way before. Perhaps we would all take marriage more seriously if we did. Our love for one another is an earthly example to others of God’s heavenly love for each of us.
Read the book for more. You’ll be edified and challenged, and if you’re like me, you’ll want to read other books by this author.
“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Genesis 2:18
From the beginning, God intended us to be in relationship with others. He said it wasn’t “good” to be alone. He also made man “in the image of God”( Genesis 1:27) and God Himself is a relationship — Father, Son and Spirit. It’s a relationship founded on love according the apostle, John:
“…the Father loves the Son, and has given all things into his hand.” John 3:35
and producing love, according to Paul:
“…the fruit of the Spirit is love….’ Galatians 5:22
In fact, Scripture tells us that God is not only loving, He is love.
It seems to me that if God is love, and He made us to mirror His image, and He created us to be in relationship with one another — then His desire is that all our relationships be loving! I’m not always a logical thinker, but this is where logic leads me. I guess that means acting in love, even when we don’t feel love. How do we do that? Well…..
“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. ” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
It’s not easy, but I think if we pay attention and keep these verses from Corinthians in mind, we can become more patient, kind, courteous and humble; and those few changes in our behavior will allow God’s love to shine into all our relationships.
I seem to be on a kick of remembering old songs. When I was in college, the one above was popular. It’s about a scoundrel who tells all the girls, “if you love me, expect to be abandoned, broke and forgotten, because that’s just how I am!” “Fair warning!” (I’m not sure why I liked it, this guy is unbearably arrogant). Anyway, it began bouncing around in my brain the other day, causing me to think about the many, better things we get for loving God. I’m sure this isn’t a comprehensive list:
If we’re willing, even eager to take a risk on loving a flawed human being, who will no doubt disappoint us, why wouldn’t we take a chance on God’s love? We stand to gain all the things above and more. Love and trust God, and see what you get for loving Him.
I’ve heard people call the Bible God’s love letter to us, and it is. However, did you realize that each one of us is a love letter to the world from God? Listen to what Paul tells the church in Corinth:
“You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our hearts, to be known and read by all. And you show you are a letter from Christ delivered by us written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.” 2 Corinthians 3:2-3
If you haven’t noticed, all the Greek words for love that we’ve been pondering this month deal with relationships with people. When we love our families, our neighbors, our friends, our fellow church members, or complete strangers we are simply instruments, used by God, to deliver His love to the world. That’s quite a responsibility. God’s love may be perceived and experienced through us. Everyone you meet won’t read the Bible, but they will read about God through your life.
What kind of letter will you be?
Does anyone out there remember this song? I looked it up and it was released in 1970 by Stephen Stills and became a number one hit. I used to make fun of it … I mean how pathetic can you get, saying, if you can’t have the person you really care for, just give up and love the one you’re with — any old person, it really doesn’t matter. However, thinking about it from a Christian perspective, isn’t this exactly the kind of preposterous love Jesus calls us to?
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy,’ But I say to you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 5:43-48
We’re to practice agape love, the kind of love God shows to us and the rest of the world. So love your neighbors, love your enemies, love your coworkers, love your fellow church members,love those who are different and unlovable, the people who really annoy and irritate you and yes, love the one you’re with!
The stories about Mary and Martha are among my favorites. These sisters are portrayed in such a human and realistic way. Martha is obviously an extrovert who is quick to say exactly what’s on her mind. Mary listens and ponders (typical introvert). They also have different talents — Martha quickly takes on the tasks of organizing and serving, while Mary sits with the guests and wants to learn from Jesus. Of course, the crux of the story, the part we always remember is Martha’s cry:
“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” Luke 10:40
I hear this sort of complaint often in the church, where we are also brothers and sisters. When we take on a task, we want and expect others to help us. Of course, that isn’t unreasonable, and we should be willing to do our share of the Lord’s work. However, often we don’t stop to think about the fact that others may simply be using their gifts in a different way. The member who doesn’t show up at the Yard Sale may be someone who enjoys taking a meals to shut-ins; the person who refuses to teach Sunday School may be a whiz at fixing things around the building. Some may even be involved in Christian activity we don’t know about — caring for a sick relative, or working hard in a community organization or spending hours in prayer. Of course, you probably also remember how Jesus answered Martha:
“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; one thing is needful; Mary has chosen the good portion which shall not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41
The Bible tells us to use our gifts to build up the church, and to be cheerful givers. It doesn’t tell us to worry about what others are doing. Sibling rivalry doesn’t help anyone. If we focus on our own gifts and calling, we won’t feel aggrieved or envious of others; we’ll be joyful and fulfilled. We’ll have chosen the needful thing.
![Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World by [Nouwen, Henri J. M.]](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51BOfcN6ctL._SY346_.jpg)
Lutheran Ladies Connection 