Waiting…

Are you tired of waiting?  It seems like we pray and nothing happens.  We think the Lord isn’t paying any attention to us and whatever we’re going through is just dragging along.  We can’t do anything ourselves, but we pray and ask the Lord to do something, anything.  Please, just get us out of this place where we are so…  stuck.

Oh, yes.  I’ve been in this place for quite awhile.  I was stuck while I was taking care of my terminally ill husband.  I prayed for change because I was unhappy with the place that the Lord had me.  I had nursing aides during the day so I could work and then I came home and took care of my husband until bedtime.  To say that I was exhausted would be an understatement.

But I learned a lot during that time.  I learned to be patient.  I couldn’t change the situation I was in so I had to rely on the Lord.  After making myself miserable (and probably those around me) I found this verse:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13

So Paul had learned to be content, because the Lord was the one who gave him strength.  So I worked on this in my prayer life, thanking the Lord for the life that he gave me, that I had a job and aides to help, food on the table and a roof over that table.  My attitude got better and I wasn’t so miserable.  It was still extremely hard but I could feel that the Lord was with me, and my heart was so much more grateful for the small things in my life.

My husband died three years ago and lately I’m back in another waiting pattern.  I have plans to retire in two years so now I need to just wait until that two years is over.  I have plans for what I want to do when my life doesn’t revolve around my job.  Yes, this is a different waiting pattern because it has a scheduled end and I’m not as exhausted as I was before.  I’m anxious to get started on my plans, but they have to wait.

Until then, the Lord has put in front of me a challenge to deepen my study and prayer time.  This I can do before and after work, but it’s still a challenge for me!  I’m looking forward to my free time that I’ll have in several years, and then I’ll have a deeper knowledge of our Lord.

 

 

Who Me?

I’m a Saint?  No way….  I am no where near sainthood.  I struggle with so much, daily Bible reading, daily prayer, loving on everyone I meet.  I can’t be a Saint.  But the Bible says I am.

When I hear the word saint I think of Theresa of Calcutta.  Now there is a Saint, working in Calcutta to help the poor.  Wow.  What about the missionaries out there who risk their lives everyday to bring Christ to the world?  I don’t measure up.  I can’t be a saint.  But the Bible says I am.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

OH.  I’m a Saint through Grace!  Thank the Lord.  I know that I’d never measure up.

You Say

Have you ever fought those feelings that make you feel like God is distant?  You can’t get close to the Lord?  You wonder if he’s even out there or if he even cares?  Maybe you’re going through a rough time right now and just can’t connect with God?

Even though it may be one of the hardest things to do you must believe that God’s in control.  He knows you better than you know yourself.  Our job is to get to know God through His Word.  This is so hard when you are going through a bad time.  I know, because I’ve been there.  There were days when I wondered if God even heard my pleas.  Then I would take a deep breath, close my eyes and just let peace be what I ask for.

The song “You Say” by Lauren Daigle says all this very well.  I believe….

 

 

More Grace

I receive morning devotionals every morning from several sources.  One is from a pastor that I’ve known for years and he is the one that married my husband and I, and baptized both of our children.  I enjoy hearing from him every day.

The thought for today included this:

There is an infinite depth in our Lord that can never be exhausted. The excitement continues as the Lord draws us closer to Himself. Continue to read, think, and pray. There is always more grace, truth, and real excitement in walking day by day with Jesus Christ.

Wow, just wow.  This really hit me.  We cannot run out of His Grace, we can always receive more.  There is no “getting there”, we are always moving closer to our Lord.

As usual with me, when I think of things like this, a song came to mind.  Enjoy.

But What If Chaos Reigns?

Joan has been blogging about the upheaval in their lives, the mess, the inconvenience.  I feel badly that this has happened to Joan, but a part of me smiles when she describes what she’s going through.  My life is always chaos and I’ve learned to live in it.

Starting with losing our home in 1992 and having to move; we were almost truly homeless, but for the Grace of God.  My husbands terminal diagnoses in 1999, my son losing his job around 2008 and he and his family moving in with us.  My husband’s death in 2015 and just this year my house was hit by a car!

I don’t live a quiet, peaceful life.  There is always something happening that seems to demand my attention.  How have I learned to live like this?  Trusting that God’s got this and He will see me through.  When I was growing up and throughout my young adult life I thought that my life would settle down, husband, kids, living a good quiet life.  This did not happen…  Oh, the husband and kids happened, but quiet?  No.  It’s always been one thing after another.

To help keep my environment on a somewhat even keel I would take steps to keep my eyes on Jesus.  An hour of quiet, just me time away from my house.  Listening to the local christian radio station for uplifting music and some bible teaching on my drive to and from work.  Going to church regularly.  These are some of the things I put into my life to keep my spirits up and my eyes on the Lord.  These actions are intentional.  I’m working to put more intentional things in my life like regular bible study and prayer time.

If your life sounds like mine, you have to be intentional to keep your environment on a sane level.  It’s hard to put in place but keep at it.  These things will eventually become habitual.  Then when chaos reigns, you can continue to smile and say “God’s got this!”

 

Go Out and Be a Blessing

A long time ago I started to go to counseling, to help me cope with my life. At that time I was completely overwhelmed, my husband’s diagnosis, two teenage boys and a full time job. I used to walk around with my eyes focused on the sidewalk in front of me, as if I was afraid to look up. What was really going on was that my brain was constantly going over all that was happening and imagining all that could happen in the future. I was really good at “projecting”; thinking about this scenario or that, what I might do in either case, worrying about all the things that might happen.

As I continued to go to counseling I was brought back to the “now”, and I started to walk along with my head up, looking around me. It seemed as if I was looking at things for the first time. People on the sidewalk smiled at me! Wow! Then I started to smile back. Pretty soon I was saying good morning to complete strangers and what a feeling that was. I was so surprised when they said good morning back to me! There were other people out in the world who were kind and nice and why hadn’t I noticed this before?

I was so wrapped up in my own problems, my own misery, that I didn’t see others around me. When trouble strikes us, one coping mechanism is to pull in, not unlike a turtle. We block out the world because it hurt us and we can’t deal with it. The problem with doing this is that you miss the good things: the beautiful sunset, the flower in the yard, the smell of a rose, a baby’s smile. We get tired and grumpy and don’t take time to look at the good things.

So, if you are being a turtle today, I would encourage you to peek outside your shell and take a good look around you. Just experiment and smile at someone today. You may be surprised when they smile back. And the rest of us, look around for the “turtles” that come your way and be a blessing. Just a kind word and a smile can go a long way.

Blessed to Mourn?

“Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted.”  Matthew 5:4

Blessed means exceedingly happy, and it’s hard to imagine anyone being happy during a time of mourning.  However, as I thought about this, I remembered a young man who had been my coworker.  When his father died unexpectedly, he told me, “You never realize how many friends you have until somebody dies.”  There’s some truth in that.  In the busyness of life we often forget to make time for others, but when death occurs, family and friends rally around.  We are all reminded that relationships and love are the things that really matter, It’s certainly a comfort and a blessing to know we’re not alone, that others care for us.

Mourning is a time to reflect.  I found when my mother died, as I sorted through her photos, I also remembered my childhood, the personality traits and interests we shared; the birthday parties, Christmas celebrations, family reunions and other important events in our life together. I cried some and laughed some.  I hadn’t thought about those things in a long time, but they are part of what made me who I am.  That has been a blessing to me.

Mourning is a time to turn to God.  Nothing comforts me more than the rituals and routines of my faith life.  Nothing means more than the assurance that mom is with Jesus, and one day I will be with Him as well.  Nothing eases the pain so much as knowing she is no longer stuck in a body that doesn’t work, and with a brain that can’t think.  These are the greatest blessings of all.

The Bible tells us that God works all things out for our good, and that includes mourning.

“Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.”  Psalm 126:6

Blessings

Michele challenged us a while back to blog about a song that really spoke to our hearts.  I know, I’m just now getting around to this, but I do have many songs that speak to me in so many different ways.  But one song stands out from the rest, “Blessings” by Laura Story.

All of us have times when we wonder if God’s left us.  Life takes a nasty turn and we feel that the Lord has turned his back. When I first heard this song I was struggling to trust the Lord in my situation.  My husband was disabled from a brain tumor and his health was getting worse.  I was still supporting my son and his family, which included two autistic sons.  Sometimes the tension around the house would be thick since my husband and son didn’t always get along and other various things that happen when you mesh two families together.  It was during this time that I first heard the song “Blessings”.  The words struck my heart and found a home there.

After I had heard the song several times I looked up Laura Story and found out that her husband had also had a brain tumor and that was the situation that brought this song about.  That had to be a God thing; her husband had a brain tumor, too?

Here is a quote from Laura Story regarding “Blessings”:

The song shows that we still have more questions than answers. But there’s a decision that I find God is asking us to make. Are we going to judge God based on our circumstances, or are we going to choose to interpret our circumstances based on what we hold to be true about God?

Our circumstances have magnified the blessing of marriage. As high school sweethearts, we faced the strong chance that our long-awaited marriage bond might last just two years. Once you’ve rallied through a life-threatening illness together, the rest of it is like a surprise; every day is a new gift that might not have been there. It’s not as big a deal now if he leaves his socks on the floor.

The words of James 1:2–“Consider it a great joy … whenever you experience various trials”–ring especially true and duly influence the joyful, wisdom-loving tone throughout “Blessings.”

Don’t get the wrong idea. It hasn’t been easy. Everyone wants to be a mature and equipped follower, but would I have signed up had I known what it would take? God has grown us up, deepened our faith, our awareness of our great need for Him as a Savior, daily. We knew it before, but we didn’t see it.

I hope you are as blessed by this song as I continue to be.  Here are the lyrics:

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

Chorus:
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

 

I don’t get what I deserve.

What I deserve is Hell. Really, the ten commandments show me how true that is. According to law, I deserve nothing but punishment for the sins that I can’t help but commit. I’m selfish, I’m an ungrateful child, I’m inconsiderate . . . A glutton. For sure Sarah, the christian is not an iota better than her peers.

Yet for all my shortcomings, what makes me different is that I know something. I know Christ Jesus came and redeemed me. Linkin Park sings in one of my favorite songs,

“So let mercy come and wash away
What I’ve done

I’ll face myself to cross out what I’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what I’ve done”

I wonder if they knew that Jesus is Mercy? I wonder if they knew when they wrote these words that Jesus does and did, wash away what we’ve done? I wonder too if they knew that they didn’t have to face themselves alone. Cuz, when we are left alone to meditate on our mistakes, it is truly unbearable. I certainly hope everyone comes to have the knowledge, that erasing ones self and letting go of what we’ve done, is only fully possible when Jesus does it for us. I know I deserve hell and the pain that comes with it. I also know (through the Holy Spirit) that Jesus saved me from that fate.

Thank the Lord almighty I don’t get what I deserve.

That being said, you now understand (I think) my perspective when I tell you that as I cancelled my appointment for a Spinal Cord Simulator ( https://www.spine-health.com/video/spinal-cord-stimulator-implant-video ) I did with faith. Faith that God knows what I go through. Faith that God is using my story for His good. Faith that one day I will get better than I deserve.

I passed the tests, I got approved, and it wasn’t enough. We came ten percent shy of being able to get it done. And time is almost out. Next year begins new deductibles and new hope. It’ll get done, or it won’t. And tomorrow me and my gimpy leg will wake up and move. I know what I deserve. And I know I’ve got it good. No one but God and I can see my pain, and that holds true with many others out there suffering and struggling with whatever.

 2 Corinthians 11:29&30

  ^29″ Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not burn with indignation? ³⁰ If I must boast, I will boast about the things that show my weakness. “

Philippians 1:21

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”

 

Contractual . . .

Hosea 13:4-6

“Yet I have been the LORD your God Since the land of Egypt; And you were not to know any god except Me, For there is no savior besides Me. I cared for you in the wilderness, In the land of drought. As they had their pasture, they became satisfied, And being satisfied, their heart became proud; Therefore they forgot Me.”

I read, ‘ . . . And being satisfied, their heart became proud; therefore they forgot Me.” And I think that Christians need to remember those words. Not because we need to tell others about the words of warning God spoke, but because Christians need to warn each other. God makes a promise and we all know he’ll keep it. We certainly balk if we feel he hasn’t or won’t; yet how easily we forget that long ago we agreed to uphold our part of a binding contract.

We are a government, people, society, even world of contracts. Paper work to verify other paper work to ensure promise of words written and said in processes of purchases, acquisitions, and agreements of all kinds. And we have laws that force any who would dare usurp such paperwork as this.

How hypocritical we all are. Christians descended of Jews who are descended of Abraham, Father of nations made a promise. To follow God, worship only Him, and to do so by obeying His will. Which, I might add, only looks to provide us the best and safest option. In other words, His will would never wish His people harm or leave us wanting. Yet we’ve strayed, and forgotten over and over that our God loves us and that we also made a promise. We have grown comfortable by the blessings He gives and in our comfort and satisfaction we forget who gives it. We think it must have been our own doing. That the ‘stars aligned’ and all our efforts came to bear fruit of prosperity and peace. But from where did we get the money? A job, the employer, the company, a city, the state, country; have all those things including the political web of red tape and regulations, with the world chess pieces of military power all been a product of our own hand?

God might ask us as He did Job if we laid the foundations of the earth and hung the stars and moon. No, we simply reap the benefits if we only obey putting one foot in front of the other. We must be cautious, and not forget when we sit on our soft couch in our warm homes just who made it all possible. Good for us we have a really big note a.k.a. the Bible, so that we can read it and remember not just God’s promises which are faithful, but our own.