Tag Archives: relationships

My Own Little World

Standard

I know that I’m guilty of living in my own world.  Something is going on in my life and I pull all the sensors in, so to speak.  I don’t look out into the world and see the pain and suffering that is out there.  If I don’t see it, I can’t do anything about it.  Not even pray.  I’m centered on MY pain and suffering.

When this song came out in 2010 I was starting to look out of my own little world.  Starting to pray for others and ask how they were doing.  Asking about that medical problem that’s worrying the family.  Their problems that I knew about.  I would start a prayer list and I would pray for them.  It’s too easy to say that you’ll keep them in prayer and then forget.

One thing that needs remedied in my own little world is shown in this video.  I don’t DO something.  Sometimes the only thing that you can do is pray but many times you can actually do something.

Listen to this song by Matthew West.  It reminds us that there is a larger world out there.

Advertisements

Actions Speak Louder than Words…

Standard

Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.

Yesterday I posted the song “Do Something” by Matthew West.  Not all of us are able to drop everything and run to another country to help spread the Gospel.  We are where the Lord has planted us and I’m sure if he wanted us to run off to another place to spread the Gospel He’d let us know.

Everyday we should go about our lives, being the hands and feet of Jesus.  Much of the time we don’t have to “preach”.  We just need to be.  I have a story I want to share that showed me how much this is true.

One Thanksgiving week quite a few years back, I got a call from my boss.  We were both off work that week for the holiday and she had never called me at home before.  She told me her husband had died in his sleep that morning.  She had woken up to find him in their bed, deceased.  She was quite shocked and upset.  I was being supportive on the phone with her and in the back of my mind I was wondering why she had called me.  Then she said “Would you pray for me?” I guess I could have said that I’d keep her in my prayers (and I did), but I just said of course and started praying.  I did offer to come to her but she had her sister coming and that was good.  I didn’t want her to be alone.

I don’t “preach” at work.  I don’t even have scripture hanging around my desk.  She knew that I was active in my church and that I sometimes took off from work to go on church retreats (Via de Cristo).  We may have had small conversations about faith.  But I was floored that she came to me and asked me to pray for her.

So keep in mind that as you go out into your world that you are “preaching” the Gospel whether you are talking or not.

Two Are Better

Standard

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward  for their toil.  For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow;  but woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to life him up.  Again, if two lie together, they are warm;  but how can one be warm alone?  And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him.  A threefold cord is not quickly broken.”  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

In an earlier blog, I wrote about how God did not create us to be alone.  When I think back over my life, I see how it has been enriched by the love of others.

What would my life be like without my siblings, with whom I remember my childhood, and who helped to care for my mom in her old age?  Or without my mother who read to me, my grandmother who cooked the best dinners ever, my grandfather who taught me I was smart enough to become whatever I wanted to be?

What would my life be like if I had not had my husband to help with all the child rearing chores, to support me and cheer me on when I wanted to go to school, try a new job, or learn a new skill?  Who stuck with me through all the good and bad times of life?

What would my life be life without the many friends, who over the years, saw talents and abilities in me that I didn’t even realize I had?  Who encouraged me to be a leader, to grow spiritually, and (most recently) to start this blog?

Where would I be without God in my life?  To comfort, to guide, to provide, to accept me with all my quirks?  To be a father whenever my earthly parents failed me?

Storge, eros, philia, agape, we need all those loves.  Life is definitely better when we live it with others.

Am I Sorry or Repentant?

Standard

A couple of weeks ago, Pastor Culler gave a sermon on repentance. Now being a Christian, this is probably not an earth shaking topic, right? Well, for some reason after listening to what he said I was struck by the fact that I often say I am sorry but did that mean I was repentant? It is hard to look inside ourselves and admit that we are not living our lives like we should, but I am finding out on my journey that it does not get easier, it gets even harder when you realize the huge sacrifice that was made and how little, sometimes, we appreciate it.

To be repentant means that you will turn away and change your life – have I always done that? Absolutely NOT, As a matter of fact, in retrospect I find that I have rarely been repentant, just sorry. Big difference.

However, being a Christian is about learning and growing and being a little better each day, so my next resolution is to actually think before I say I am sorry and instead learn to be more truly repentant and not just give lip service to the situation.

I am sure that I will fall, but at least I know that I can reach for my brother Jesus’ hand and He will pull me back up on the narrow path that I seem to wobble off of, a lot.

How have you approached being repentant on matters? Have you ever found yourself just saying I am Sorry to get someone off your back?

Share with me your thoughts on the subject – I am All ears or in this case EYES HAHA

Always remember

God Loves You And So Do I
Michele

Obey Your Husband

Standard

The other day, my mother-in-law tried to give me a new cat. After consulting with my husband, it was clear that he felt an extra animal was just too much to take on right now. When I broke the news to her, she replied that it didn’t matter if Nick said no. I should just bring it home anyway- lol. My response was that we are instructed in the bible to obey our husbands:

Ephesians 5:22-24

“Wives, obey your husbands as you obey the Lord.The husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church people. The church is his body and he saved it.Wives should obey their husbands in everything, just as the church people obey Christ.”

A lot of people take this quote and say that it is “backwards” or “outdated”. If I read this quote only, I might be inclined to agree. However, further in the text it states:

Ephesians 5:25-33: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, …

So while the bible does instruct us to obey our husbands, it also states that a husband should love his wife as equally as his own body, so that any decision he makes would have her best interest at heart. Most decisions in a relationship are joint decisions, but inevitably there will be times when husband and wife cannot agree. In those times, I listen to this text and respect my husband’s decisions as much as I would my own. Interested to hear what everyone else’s thoughts/interpretations of this text are?

 

Examining Our Relationships

Standard

After a Via de Cristo retreat, participants are encouraged to periodically examine their conscience.  This means to think carefully over their recent words, thoughts and deeds in order to understand how they have failed and confess.  Some suggestions for doing this are provided in the VDC Pilgrim’s Guide.  I’m listing here just the questions pertaining to our relationships.

In Regard to Others have I:

  • Loved others selfishly;  wanted to monopolize other’s affections, been jealous
  • Considered no one but myself.  Never felt real anguish for the misery of others
  • Passed by, indifferent to others’ troubles
  • Had habitual contempt for others;  less educated people, people of different racial, national or economic groups
  • In any way stifled the personal development of another
  • Sought to be respected without respecting others
  • Often kept others waiting
  • Not paid entire attention to a person speaking to me
  • Talked too much of myself, and not given others a chance to express themselves
  • Failed to try to understand others
  • Out of selfishness or pride, expected to be served
  • Failed to help a person in distress
  • Seen only those whose friendship might prove profitable
  • Abandoned my friends in their difficulties
  • Said hurtful things
  • Done harm, by remarks (false or true) that blacken another’s character
  • Betrayed a trust;  violated a confidence
  • Given scandal by the split between the life I lead and the principles I advertise as mine

How do you feel after reading through this list?  I am humbled and contrite.  I fall down so much more than I want to admit, many times I sin against others and don’t even notice!

“For I delight in the law of God, in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin which dwells in my members.  Wretched man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! Romans 7:22-25

The Power of Words

Standard

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”  Proverbs 15:1

Words can hurt, humiliate and anger;  or they can encourage, soothe and inspire.  Our words should be used carefully because they can make or break a relationship.  Once spoken, they can’t be called back or changed.

I thought I would tell you a true story about how someone I know used his words wisely.  His name is Gary.  He and his family moved from Kansas to Maryland and began attending our church.  Our daughters became friends with his daughters, and soon our families were spending a good deal of time together.

After they had been in Maryland for a while, Gary and his family moved to a house that was divided into two apartments.  The first day they lived there, Gary saw his new neighbor drive up, so he went out to introduce himself.  Well, imagine his surprise when the first words out of this fellow’s mouth were curses, and his basic message was “leave me alone, I have no interest in you!”  How would you respond to that?  I’m pretty sure I would just cringe and creep away, hoping to avoid this person forever!  I think plenty of other people would be angry and tell that jerk exactly what they thought of his rude behavior.  Neither response would lead to any kind of neighborly relationship at all.

Can you guess what Gary said?  “Gee, you must have had an awful day to be acting like this.”  He and his neighbor actually became friends, or at least friendly.  His gentle and caring answer turned away wrath.  This situation taught me a lot about the power of words and the value not speaking impulsively (of course, I don’t always manage to do it.)

Here’s something the Bible says about our speech:

“I tell you, on the day of judgement men will render account for every careless word they utter;  for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”  Matthew 12:36-37

That’s a pretty sobering thought. You can not only end a relationship with harsh words,  you can help someone out and at the same time put them down and criticize them.  Do you love others with your words as well as your deeds?

 

Biblical Relationship Advice

Image

Graceful Relationships

Standard

Sarah’s post on symbiosis told us that relationships are a two way street.  If we want our relationships to survive and thrive, we have to extend a little grace — that’s a word we Lutherans like to use, which basically means getting something you didn’t earn and don’t deserve.  There are times in every relationship when we have to be willing to put aside our own needs and sacrifice for the other.  There’s a great “how to” section in the 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians.  You’ve probably heard this many times, but have you really thought about it?

“Love is patient and kind”

Am I patient with my friend, even when she forgets my birthday?  Or goes on and on about her favorite topic (which doesn’t interest me)? Am I kind and willing to listen to her problems, even on the days I’m tired and really don’t want to talk at all?

“love is not jealous or boastful.”

Am I sincerely happy for my brother when he gets a promotion while I am struggling financially?  Can I congratulate him without bringing up my latest success?

“it (love) is not arrogant or rude”

Am I respectful and courteous to the people who serve me at the restaurant, the bank, the grocery store?  Do I ask how their day is going?  Or do I ignore them in my rush to get on with my other errands?

“Love does not insist on its own way”

Do I give my husband and children a say in our family life and daily routines?  Or do I expect them to go along with my preferences?

“it (love) is not irritable or resentful”

Am I understanding when my co-worker needs extra time off?  Or do I feel put upon and angry?

“it (love) does not rejoice in the wrong, but rejoices in the right.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Do I try to put the best interpretation on the behavior of others?  Am I will to forgive them when they’re wrong and keep encouraging and believing in them?  Or do I give up and walk away?

In all our relationships, the greatest asset is love.  Use it daily.

 

In Marriage Relationships

Standard

Marriage is like taking that huge step off a cliff and not knowing how it’s all going to end.  But for most marriage starts with two people, deeply in love, that commit to stay with each other until death do us part.  We have stars in our eyes and we know that life is going to be so wonderful.  Then the problems start.

Most marriages today don’t have the commitment factor that they used to.  Yes, I know that people have stayed in miserable conditions just because they married the person they have come to hate.  It takes two to commit together, two to stay together.  Two hearts need to stay as one.  During the wedding God knits two totally separate people and makes them one.

Now, my marriage wasn’t the greatest.  Both my husband and I had problems.  We actually separated for awhile and then came back together.  We learned to live together and we had a good relationship.  Was it the wonderful lifetime that I imagined when we stood at the altar, no.  It was hard work, but we made it through.  My husband has been gone for over two years now and I can look back and see all the good and bad.  One of the good things is that we were committed to keeping the vows, to stay together through it all.  And we did.

This song by Andrew Peterson totally pulled at me from the first time I heard it.  It is so truthful.  We should take the words to heart.  We shouldn’t just walk (or tiptoe) through the minefields in a marriage, we should go dancing through them.  Sail through the storms.  Knowing that Jesus is the Lord of the relationship should cause us to rejoice.  So, let’s go dancing!!